Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Randomize
