Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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