I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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