They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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