Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
