I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
