no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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