So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
