party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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