people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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