So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
