12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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