is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
