Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
