Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
