My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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