So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
