Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
