I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
