I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
