dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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