I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
