Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize