You can't special order awesome
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
