my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So much rum. So many feels.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
