My girlfriend figured out who you are.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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