I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
we're making bets on your personal life
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Randomize
