If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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