I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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