you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
