Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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