so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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