This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
