i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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