i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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