it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
