But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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