go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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