To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's official drugs can't kill me
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
