Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
