your parents love me but you hate me
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
