It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize