He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
