Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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