We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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