this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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