I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
