I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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