he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you traded sex for a burrito?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize