I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
