I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
