Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I did not marry a roomba.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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