It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
