So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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