Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
MIDGETS
????
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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