why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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