So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
where are my eyebrows?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
