I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
