the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
