Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
