speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
