the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
