i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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