1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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